The Giants Reportedly Went 0-For-17 On Passes In Red Zone Drills Today, Including 0-For-4 Vs. No Defenders
Welcome back Giants fans to our regularly scheduled embarrassing stories of late season football! I wouldn't put this as high as the reports of our head coach motherfucking all his coordinators from last year or this abortion of a play that essentially ended the Joe Judge Era.
But this is pretty high on the Embarrassment Chart for a practice report that doesn't involve players having meltdowns, getting pulled over on the way to the stadium, or benching legends during their iron man streak for no good reason, all of which has happened at MetLife during the last decade of misery.
I know that the swirling winds of the Meadowlands are stuff of legend, but the Giants going 0-for-4 on passes in the red zone against no defenders is shit you wouldn't even see The Little Giants do before the figured out how to play football. If the Ravens defense doesn't set fantasy football records on Sunday fresh off a bye week, they need to disband that unit forever or be forced to hire Rex Ryan to bring back the chaos that made the Ravens synonymous with defense.
As for the Giants, or the sad sack of misfits wearing Giants uniforms, my advice would be to not change a thing. Playing poorly enough to land the number 1 pick is not an easy thing to do in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE considering just how hard it is to tank in a league full of non-guaranteed contracts. Luckily for Big Blue, it appears they have assembled a squad that could lose a game to a ghost team.
So I ask that Brian Daboll keep calling the plays he is calling and Tommy DeVito refuse to summon the meme magic that made his seem like a competent quarterback for a few games last season just so the G-Men can snag the QB of their choice at the top of the draft. Sure they will ruin him just like they have ruined pretty much everyone else during John Mara's reign of carnage. But at least us fans can dream of everything turning around while watching his college highlights on YouTube before we inevitably end up back here at the same time next season.
I'd cry more about our misfortunes, but even I can acknowledge the team that shares our shitty, soulless, overpriced stadium somehow has it worse. So I'll just wait for the next sad story to drop since there are no shortage of Barstool blogs when a team scrapes rock bottom year after year.